


I Do Not Like Gay Sex with Men

by impureimpulse



Category: Persona 4
Genre: M/M, Parody
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-14
Updated: 2013-03-14
Packaged: 2017-12-05 07:01:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 579
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/720189
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/impureimpulse/pseuds/impureimpulse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You do not like it, so you say, but try it, try it, and you may!  (Green Eggs & Ham parody with Souji and Yosuke.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Do Not Like Gay Sex with Men

“Yosuke, could I ask you a question? 

Or maybe more of a suggestion...

I thought I'd ask you privately; 

but would you please have sex with me?”

 

“...Your sense of humor's kind of lame.”  


 

“But I'm serious.” 

 

“...Are you insane?” 

 

“I wouldn't ask this as a joke, 

I gave it thought before I spoke.”

 

“Dude, what the hell-- so what, you're _gay_?! 

What is it that you're trying to say?”

 

“I asked as clearly as I can. 

...You couldn’t have sex with a man?”

 

“I _won't_ have **gay sex** with a _man_ , 

you're _freaking_ me out, Seta-san!”

 

“Would you try it here or there?”

 

“I would not try that here or there, 

I would not do that anywhere!”

 

“Would you try it at my house? 

Would you try it on the couch?” 

 

“I would not try it at your house, 

I would not try it on your couch, 

I would not try it here or there, 

I would not try it ANYWHERE! 

I would not have sex with a guy, 

I do not care how hard you try!”

 

“What if all the doors were locked? 

You wouldn't let me suck your cock?”

 

“Not if all the doors were locked-- 

That's fucking gross, 

I mean it, **stop**! 

I would not try it at your house,

I would not try it on your couch,

I would not try it here or there,

I would not try it anywhere.

_I am not having sex with you_ , 

**what part of that's not getting through**?!”

 

“What if it was really dark? 

Or late at night, 

down at the park? 

If that's the case, 

then you can't see, 

so then would you have sex with me?”

 

“Not in the dark, 

not at the park, 

just give it up! 

Just let it go! 

How many _times_ can I say ' **no'**?!”

 

“Hey! A train, a crowded train! 

Would you try it on a train?”

 

“I would not try it on a train, 

did all that Zio fry your brain?!”

 

“What about Tatsuhime shrine? 

It's quiet there, would that be fine?

How about Iwatodai station? 

Or maybe mutual masturbation?”

 

“Not at Iwatodai Station, 

not even mutual masturbation!”

 

“It wouldn't make your body quiver, 

if, say-- we tried it at the river?

 

“I would not try it at the river, 

I will _not_ try it!  _Never_! **Ever**!”

 

“Somewhere where no one could see? 

What about in the TV? 

Or once we're there, 

I wouldn't mind, 

if we could try it from behind?”

 

“Not in the dark, 

not on a train, 

not at the shrine, 

not at the floodplain, 

not from behind, 

nor in the TV,

I don't give a fuck how much you plead!”

 

“Please calm down, 

no need to curse. 

...What if I dressed up as a nurse?”

 

“SOUJI! Fuck! I mean it, man, 

I've said _no_ every way I can!” 

 

“...Just one more thing, 

before we're through? 

I have to ask, what would you do-- 

If _I'm not_ the one fucking _you_?” 

 

“...”

 

“...You mean that?”

 

“I'm not lying.”

 

“... _Dude_.”

 

“And even then, 

that doesn't say, 

that you are really, truly 'gay'. 

That's not at all the way I meant; 

just more of an experiment? 

You do not like it? 

So you say. 

But try it, try it, 

and you may.”

 

“You really mean that? 

...Oh. 

...Okay.”

 

...

 

“Hey-- you know, 

that wasn't bad. 

I'm sorry that I got so mad.”

 

“So now you'll do it here or there? 

Now you'll do it anywhere?”

 

“ _Don't push your luck, partner.”_

 


End file.
